The function of a commercial is to embed the advertised product into your psyche. Therefore when you find yourself shopping you remember the product and buy it. Name recognition is what it's all about. Commercials are paramount in that quest. Companies pay tens of millions for them every year. Some products, in my opinion, are so deeply rooted in American society they would hardly have to advertise. At least not have to pay for TV ads. Coke, Bud, Lite, Pepsi, Doritos, for example. If you never heard those names on TV again, you would still buy all of them had you bought them before. I would make exceptions for new products,(a new flavor, look, etc.) but only for one week. Only one commercial a day, in prime time. That's it.

If I was running an ad company, I would follow the dumb or confusing commercial protocol. By that I mean, make an ad so stupid it actually irritates the consumer. Like Mentos or the old Channel ads.
Mentos was stupid and channel confusing. Both companies made millions.

Here's my idea.(Humorless people should stop reading here) Let's say the product is hand cream, it really doesn't matter. So anyway, selling hand cream is the goal. The viewer is seeing from the perspective of a man who is walking up to an elevator. Inside the elevator is a very attractive woman who smiles at him. Just then the doors start to close, she reaches out and holds the door for the man.
He says thank you and something flirty. She demurs with everything but her eyes. He pulls out a 44 magnum and blows the back of her head off. He stops the elevator, as he leaves he throws the particular hand cream at the limp, dead body. It lands, label forward and proud. Freeze frame and a voice over in a soothing cheery tone, "Jergens... or whatever it may be). Maybe get Scorsese to direct. Tell me that commercial won't stick. Or get people talking. Genius.

Available for freelance,

theblaast
citizen

The debates are useless, Republic or Democratic, it matters naught. We are watching corporate media play with dolls. No one asks real questions and no one gives real answers. If I was moderating, I would do things a little differently. First, I would insist that each candidate be given 10 minutes to answer one question, each debate. I would have them three times a week, for the last six to nine months of each cycle. Before I asked the question I would have each candidate pelted with a paintball on a piece of bare skin.(not in the face, well, not in the eyes) Immediately after the trained, impartial, paint gun warrior expertly welts up each candidate I would ask my question. As a caveat, I would also inform them that MY question must be answered. Not the one THEY want to answer. For everytime they start spouting talking points or the like, our expert shoots them again. Man, that would be tough, I mean Fucking hostile tough. But being President is harder, and they say they want the job.

One thing is for sure, It would have kept the Chimp out of office. He can't think or speak in any situation, certainly not under pressure. Think seven minutes in the classroom. How long is that in nuclear time? Probably too long. Anyway, the point is, he'd still be failing at all kinds of things while his mom and dad wipe his skinned knees. But whole entire countries, would be safe from his buffoonery. Sure, he would still be drinking turpentine from his still in the back woods of Kennebunkport, spinning tales from his days as a cheerleader. Or brooding over cosmic thoughts like, "what the fuck is wrong with the Rangers this year?", and showing people his ball sack at parties...you know that guy. The rich, ignorant, drunk. Well folks, that guy has a nuke. Many of them. Makes you feel warm inside doesn't it?

One thing is true, alot more people would be alive.

wondering what color the threat is today,

theblaast
citizen

I went to a baseball game recently, it was played in a dome.(that will be important later.) As you walk in you see the usual baseball fare, hotdogs, nachos, beer, peanuts, pretzels. Pretty much nil that is healthy or good for you. Interspersed throughout the signs advertising copious amounts of alcohol and cholesterol are signs that read "NO SMOKING". Makes sense I guess. Buy all this other stuff that is slowly killing you and draining the pockets of health systems all over, just don't smoke. Look around, you can see how health and fitness figure substantially into Americans' obese, sedentary lifestyle. Childhood diabetes, anyone? I digress.

The theory is that second hand smoke can kill, second hand fat cannot. True in theory, so let's talk second hand.
(This is where the dome comes into play.) Whenever the home team hit a dinger, they shot off fireworks. Combustible material that creates smoke. Huge amounts of smoke. I'm talking from the infield to the bleachers, I'm talking haze. The players and the fans sat in this toxic mist virtually the whole game. It seemed odd to me, because even if everyone in the stadium chain smoked for two hours straight, we could not have created the immoveable cloud that enveloped two-thirds of the stadium. No one seemed concerned. In fact, plenty of people cheered for the bright lights in the sky.

The weird thing is, even through the smog I could still... just... make out the NO SMOKING signs. Ah Irony. I'll take mine unfiltered.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em

theblaast
citizen

Sometimes, even in the world we currently live in, it's still possible to feel exhilaration. Rare, I know, but it is still there. It's not going to be in the obvious place. It will totally surprise you. Sure there are every day situations that, arguably, the net emotion could be exhilaration. Winning a minor amount in the lottery for instance, might be misconstrued as exhilaration. A particularily intense physical session, might leave you "exhilarated".
Beating your girlfriend in scrabble might leave a feeling that could be mistaken as, well you know.

I would argue that though these things are very exciting, they are not quite exhilarating. It seems to me that running down a purse snatcher would be exhilarating, winning millions would probably be exhilarating, taking the regional Scrabble tournament on your first entry, would be exhilarating. Ya know, things you don't expect. I might just be splitting hairs, but tonight I feel exhilarated...Not just excited. I feel the difference. I remember feeling it before, at different times, in my life. It's always a little more intense. I always bite my nails and I can't stop pacing.
My throat gets dry. Yet I perform, no matter what the situation. Not just perform, perform perfectly...at least that's the way it felt to me. Which ever, the end result is Exhilaration. And that is all right.

I might have peed a little,

theblaast
citizen