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TalesFromTheFringe


 TheFringe Turns 100!! "ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!"
 

TalesFromTheFringe...PISSING PEOPLE OFF(or not) FOR SIX MONTHS AND 100 POSTS!!! BOOYA!!!

Back to Business.

After years of denying any comparison to Vietnam, the president now not only embraces that charge he tries to use it to illustrate how well Iraq is going.

HOW CAN ANYONE BUY THIS SHIT???



SHAMELESS!!!

This guy has absolutely ZERO integrity. He doesn't care how much bull shit he has to spew. Here is a guy that was awol from his champagne unit, speaking to veterans, telling them we should have stayed in a war that he would not serve in. All to make a case for staying in another war that he started. The chimp has no morals, no ethics, no intelligence, and no concience.

But he does have balls. Not the kind that make people stand in front of a tank in Tieneman Square. Not the kind that would make someone refuse to give up a bus seat. Not the kind that would make someone take personal responsibility for their mistakes. No. I'm talking about the sinister type of balls. The kind that makes someone say, I don't know, something like, "I'm a war president", or "I'm the decider", or "I can't think of a mistake I've made." or "Those weapons of mass destruction got to be here somewhere! Nope, not under here." The kind that says the buck stops anywhere but with him.

Here is a scenario. George and Karl are in bed, having just finished making sweet, sweet love. In walks Laura. She screams and immediately confronts Georgie.

Laura(angry but controlled)-- "How could you?! How could you do this to me, to our children, to yourself?! How long has this been going on?!"

Georgie(twitching)-- "How long has what been going on?"

Laura(becoming indignant)-- "Don't insult me! How long have you been having an affair with Karl?!"

Georgie(Calmly)-- "Who's Karl?"

Laura(Yelling now)-- "Your advisor! Your friend! The naked man laying next to you in bed!!"

Georgie(smirking)-- "There's no one here but me."

Laura(Hysterical now)-- "I CAN SEE HIM!! HE'S RIGHT THERE TRYING TO PUT HIS PJ PANTS ON!! I CAN SEE THE SWEAT STAIN ON THE BED!! THESE ARE HIS GLASSES!!"

Georgie(brow furrowed)-- "Nope, he hasn't been here at all today. In fact I've never met him."

Laura(battered and confused)-- "He's been your friend since the seventies! George, he just walked past me. He just left. I know you saw him."

Georgie(smiling broadly)-- "No sweety, I didn't. Are you feeling OK? Maybe you should lay down."

Laura(defeated)-- "I have been feeling under the weather...my head..."

Georgie(smugly)-- "Well there you go. You don't know what you saw. Why don't you just pop a couple oxys and take a nap."

Laura(zombie like)-- "Maybe you're right. I could have swore I saw you in bed with Karl. Maybe I should see a doctor?"

Georgie(victorious)-- "Let's see how you feel after the nap. Now c'mon, give us a kiss and let's get you off to bed."

Later in the day, Karl asks Georgie how he got out of it.

Karl(nervously)-- "So, what did you tell her?"

Georgie(arrogantly)-- "I just told her you weren't there."

Karl(in disbelief)-- "C'mon, are you kidding me? She saw me! I had to walk past her! I wrestled my glasses out of her hand!"

Georgie(chuckling)-- "Hey man, I just told her you weren't there. It's all about repetition and not backing off your lie, even in the face of fact. Eventually she believed it, they all do. At least they believe that I believe. Heh, heh. I gave her a couple oxycontins and a shot of Wild Turkey and sent her off to bed. Whatever lingering doubts she has will be even fuzzier when she wakes up."

Karl(incredulous)-- "Are you sure?"

Georgie(confidently)-- " 'Course ah am."

Karl(in awe)-- "Man! You got balls!"

Georgie(smugly)-- "Yeah, I'm tough. I'm the manipulifyer. Now, when you want to meet up again? Cuz I'm horny in chief!"

Karl(lovingly)-- "Oh Georgie!"

Submitted for thought,

theblaast,
citizen

Posted by theblaast at 8:53 AM - 8 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 WAR IS SOO COOL!!! LET'S START ANOTHER ONE!!
 



"I want to take the world, bend it over and do it dry!"

----George "The Evil Twitching Chimp" Bush, speaking to the Carlyle Group in early 2002

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@



In response to Chimpy's speach in Canada yesterday criticizing the "govt." in Iraq for not making more political progress, specifically the signing of the oil revenue law. PM Nouri Al Maliki says no one has the right to issue timetables for the Iraqi government. "We can find friends elswhere."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



George "the delusional chimp" Bush asserts today that Iraq is just like Japan. Bush then claimed Korea was just like Iraq. W finally implied Iraq is just like Vietnam, but in a good way. Even the friendly crowd of Vets seemed somewhat non-plussed. There was of course, applause when scripted, but the crowd seemed to be a little off their game. I'm sure the Bush propaganda machine is having a harder time finding enthusiastic studio audiences at this late stage in his disaster of a presidency.

Meanwhile, the drum of war with Iran is being pounded by the administration, Lieberman, and Fix News. The Corporate media is starting to echo their masters.

George W. Bush and his laser like focus on destruction. What a good Christian.



*************************

I got my dirty mitts on an advanced copy of the Bush administration's interpretation of the Petraeus report. An excerpt follows:

"The situation in Iraq is one of unabashed peace, a utopia. There is more progress than could ever have been imagined. In fact, the country is becoming far too tranquil. Every Iraqi citizen has fresh water, electricity, and as much food as they wish. There is no religious strife and jobs are plentiful. The oil producing capability has surpassed our expectations. The Iraqi army is vast and strong. World wide recruitment into terrorist groups is almost non existent. The occupation has created unprecedented stability in the region. Our Army is completely unbroken and enlistment goals are being met and exceeded. The rest of the rebuilding should cost less than $20. In short, you Mr. President, are a visionary of utmost clarity. You are annointed by god and divined by providence.
Though we may search the ages, a more brilliant man could not be found. I apologize for my candor, but I feel it necessary to illustrate my objectivity. It is the best war ever fought and everything is great over there."

"However, we have to stay indefinitely, possibly forever....and maybe we should lob a couple bombs at Iran. Ya know, to take the heat off."

--Submitted in awe of your prowess.
The White House Speech Writers(under the pseudonym David Petraeus)

The Chimp, hero of the stupid.

Wishing he were there,

theblaast,
citizen

Posted by theblaast at 12:45 PM - 12 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Audible Arrogance And Alliterative Analysis
 

The reverends Jerry Falwell and Marion Robertson. Dastardly Dogmatic Douche-bags.

A couple of RELIGIOUS FANATICS assigning blame for an attack perpetrated by other RELIGIOUS FANATICS, squarely at the feet of the SECULARISTS!!!

Ah IRONY. Sprinkle mine with a little holy water.



Malevolent Mental Midgets Merrily Misplacing Motive.
Stand with your leaders.
For the Bible tells you so.

NOW SAY IT WITH ME!!

ALL THE PIETY PEOPLE IN HIS HOUSE SAY...JOB!!!

JOB!!!
JOB!!!

GO JERRY!

GO MARY!

GO JERRY!

GO MARY!

BRING THE RAPTURE!
BRING THE RAPTURE!
IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!

Waiting for the other shoe to drop,

theblaast,
citizen
Posted by theblaast at 6:18 PM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 These Soldiers Must Be Defeatocrats, Right?
 

"The Constitution is just a god damn piece of paper!"
"Bring 'em on."
"Watch this drive." --George "The Evil Chimp" Bush

Maybe if W just PRAYS harder, everything will work out.



Bravery on the battlefield, bravery at home. Thank You.

An Op-Ed from some returning Veterans. I also posted the transcript of Bush and Josh Bolten attempting to discuss how to spin the article. It is below the actual piece.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The War as We Saw It

By BUDDHIKA JAYAMAHA, WESLEY D. SMITH, JEREMY ROEBUCK, OMAR MORA, EDWARD SANDMEIER, YANCE T. GRAY and JEREMY A. MURPHY
Published: August 19, 2007 NYT

VIEWED from Iraq at the tail end of a 15-month deployment, the political debate in Washington is indeed surreal. Counterinsurgency is, by definition, a competition between insurgents and counterinsurgents for the control and support of a population. To believe that Americans, with an occupying force that long ago outlived its reluctant welcome, can win over a recalcitrant local population and win this counterinsurgency is far-fetched. As responsible infantrymen and noncommissioned officers with the 82nd Airborne Division soon heading back home, we are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day. (Obviously, these are our personal views and should not be seen as official within our chain of command.)

The claim that we are increasingly in control of the battlefields in Iraq is an assessment arrived at through a flawed, American-centered framework. Yes, we are militarily superior, but our successes are offset by failures elsewhere. What soldiers call the “battle space” remains the same, with changes only at the margins. It is crowded with actors who do not fit neatly into boxes: Sunni extremists, Al Qaeda terrorists, Shiite militiamen, criminals and armed tribes. This situation is made more complex by the questionable loyalties and Janus-faced role of the Iraqi police and Iraqi Army, which have been trained and armed at United States taxpayers’ expense.

A few nights ago, for example, we witnessed the death of one American soldier and the critical wounding of two others when a lethal armor-piercing explosive was detonated between an Iraqi Army checkpoint and a police one. Local Iraqis readily testified to American investigators that Iraqi police and Army officers escorted the triggermen and helped plant the bomb. These civilians highlighted their own predicament: had they informed the Americans of the bomb before the incident, the Iraqi Army, the police or the local Shiite militia would have killed their families.

As many grunts will tell you, this is a near-routine event. Reports that a majority of Iraqi Army commanders are now reliable partners can be considered only misleading rhetoric. The truth is that battalion commanders, even if well meaning, have little to no influence over the thousands of obstinate men under them, in an incoherent chain of command, who are really loyal only to their militias.

Similarly, Sunnis, who have been underrepresented in the new Iraqi armed forces, now find themselves forming militias, sometimes with our tacit support. Sunnis recognize that the best guarantee they may have against Shiite militias and the Shiite-dominated government is to form their own armed bands. We arm them to aid in our fight against Al Qaeda.

However, while creating proxies is essential in winning a counterinsurgency, it requires that the proxies are loyal to the center that we claim to support. Armed Sunni tribes have indeed become effective surrogates, but the enduring question is where their loyalties would lie in our absence. The Iraqi government finds itself working at cross purposes with us on this issue because it is justifiably fearful that Sunni militias will turn on it should the Americans leave.

In short, we operate in a bewildering context of determined enemies and questionable allies, one where the balance of forces on the ground remains entirely unclear. (In the course of writing this article, this fact became all too clear: one of us, Staff Sergeant Murphy, an Army Ranger and reconnaissance team leader, was shot in the head during a “time-sensitive target acquisition mission” on Aug. 12; he is expected to survive and is being flown to a military hospital in the United States.) While we have the will and the resources to fight in this context, we are effectively hamstrung because realities on the ground require measures we will always refuse — namely, the widespread use of lethal and brutal force.

Given the situation, it is important not to assess security from an American-centered perspective. The ability of, say, American observers to safely walk down the streets of formerly violent towns is not a resounding indicator of security. What matters is the experience of the local citizenry and the future of our counterinsurgency. When we take this view, we see that a vast majority of Iraqis feel increasingly insecure and view us as an occupation force that has failed to produce normalcy after four years and is increasingly unlikely to do so as we continue to arm each warring side.

Coupling our military strategy to an insistence that the Iraqis meet political benchmarks for reconciliation is also unhelpful. The morass in the government has fueled impatience and confusion while providing no semblance of security to average Iraqis. Leaders are far from arriving at a lasting political settlement. This should not be surprising, since a lasting political solution will not be possible while the military situation remains in constant flux.

The Iraqi government is run by the main coalition partners of the Shiite-dominated United Iraqi Alliance, with Kurds as minority members. The Shiite clerical establishment formed the alliance to make sure its people did not succumb to the same mistake as in 1920: rebelling against the occupying Western force (then the British) and losing what they believed was their inherent right to rule Iraq as the majority. The qualified and reluctant welcome we received from the Shiites since the invasion has to be seen in that historical context. They saw in us something useful for the moment.

Now that moment is passing, as the Shiites have achieved what they believe is rightfully theirs. Their next task is to figure out how best to consolidate the gains, because reconciliation without consolidation risks losing it all. Washington’s insistence that the Iraqis correct the three gravest mistakes we made — de-Baathification, the dismantling of the Iraqi Army and the creation of a loose federalist system of government — places us at cross purposes with the government we have committed to support.

Political reconciliation in Iraq will occur, but not at our insistence or in ways that meet our benchmarks. It will happen on Iraqi terms when the reality on the battlefield is congruent with that in the political sphere. There will be no magnanimous solutions that please every party the way we expect, and there will be winners and losers. The choice we have left is to decide which side we will take. Trying to please every party in the conflict — as we do now — will only ensure we are hated by all in the long run.

At the same time, the most important front in the counterinsurgency, improving basic social and economic conditions, is the one on which we have failed most miserably. Two million Iraqis are in refugee camps in bordering countries. Close to two million more are internally displaced and now fill many urban slums. Cities lack regular electricity, telephone services and sanitation. “Lucky” Iraqis live in gated communities barricaded with concrete blast walls that provide them with a sense of communal claustrophobia rather than any sense of security we would consider normal.

In a lawless environment where men with guns rule the streets, engaging in the banalities of life has become a death-defying act. Four years into our occupation, we have failed on every promise, while we have substituted Baath Party tyranny with a tyranny of Islamist, militia and criminal violence. When the primary preoccupation of average Iraqis is when and how they are likely to be killed, we can hardly feel smug as we hand out care packages. As an Iraqi man told us a few days ago with deep resignation, “We need security, not free food.”

In the end, we need to recognize that our presence may have released Iraqis from the grip of a tyrant, but that it has also robbed them of their self-respect. They will soon realize that the best way to regain dignity is to call us what we are — an army of occupation — and force our withdrawal.

Until that happens, it would be prudent for us to increasingly let Iraqis take center stage in all matters, to come up with a nuanced policy in which we assist them from the margins but let them resolve their differences as they see fit. This suggestion is not meant to be defeatist, but rather to highlight our pursuit of incompatible policies to absurd ends without recognizing the incongruities.

We need not talk about our morale. As committed soldiers, we will see this mission through.

***********************************

Josh Bolten, White House Chief of Staff(very gently)-- "Mr. President, there is an op-ed in the NYT today I think we should discuss. Seven Iraqi war vets have written...."

The Chimp(angrily)-- "I know what they said, I had Condi read it to me.(His voice losing it's edge even as he increases volume, as if speaking to a canned crowd on the stump) It sounds to me that they are saying stay the course, that we are making progress, and the surge is working.(anger is back) I also implied from the article that these soldiers are helping the enemy."

Bolten(calmly, as if talking to a child)-- "Sir, it really doesn't say any of those things and I think you mean inferred. We have to get ahead of this...."

The Chimp(yelling now)-- 9/11, AL QAEDA, 9/11, AL QAEDA, 9/11, AL QAEDA, 9/11, AL QAEDA, MAKING PROGRESS, STAY THE COURSE, WMD, FREEDOM ON THE MARCH, HARD WORK, PATRAEUS, WAR, MONEY, LIBERATORS, SADDAM, AL QAEDA, I'M THE DECIDER, WAR PRESIDENT, STAY THE PROGRESS, MAKING FREEDOM, HARD MARCH, STRATEGERY, SPREADING OCCUPATION....

Bolten picks up a special Red phone(courtesy of AT&T) and says, in an urgent tone, "I need you in the egg shaped office"!(W thought it was funny so he mandated "egg shaped" be used instead of "oval") "Immediately"!!

In less than thirty seconds a young staffer, a recent grad from Regent college, brings four shots of whiskey to the chimp. He downs them in quick succession. His face is still ticking away as he continues to babble, slower now, with fewer actual words. Eventually he asks for a pacifier.(he calls it his "sucky") Bolten quickly grabs one from the cabinent next to the coloring books and hands it to the decider. The President hungrily snatches it from his chief of staff and falls into fitful sleep, quite instantly. Bolten thanks the harbinger of the sweet elixer with a smile as a private "security officer" pops from behind a Ficus tree and shoots the porter in the back of the head, twice. Bolten then goes about giving orders to the private "security officer".

Bolten(stridently)-- "Get rid of it and call Robertson to send us another Regent graduate. He knows they all disappear, but it helps pad his alumni roster to have so many graduates working at the White House."

Blackwater officer-- "You would think that the grads would catch on. We've been disposing of them for years in order to hide the President's addiction to alcohol and lingering effects of lyme disease. Yet no one even questions where the last guy went. You'd think college grads would be smarter."

Bolten turns his head quickly and looks at the "security officer" with bewilderment. It takes a second for the S.O. to break his earnest facade and crack a smile. Bolten lets out a guffaw and they both double over with laughter at the timed sarcasm. "I acutally thought you were serious for a second", chortled Bolten. The laughter continued for a couple moments before W woke up. The two men straightened up and tried to gain their composure. The president pulled out his sucky, wiped the drool from his mouth, and asked if the Rangers were playing that night. Before the men could answer, he had fallen back asleep.

It is, after all, hard work being the decider.

Shaving the bush,

theblaast,
citizen
Posted by theblaast at 9:54 AM - 10 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 SUNDAY BLASPHEMY.........
 

Those of you who read thefringe are well aware of my absolute contempt for religion. All religion.

Well here is another shot of good old American Christian Values.

(Warning to non-zealots: This is scary!! He obviously took a cue from his counterparts in the equally whacko fundamental Islamic cult)



Here is the video this fine young christian was gently inquiring about. I got it from youtube. I think he mentions something about that in the previous video. Creepy, creepy shit. It has some GRAPHIC scenes, so be warned. Religion has at it's core, violence. No matter how far removed from that center a doctrine claims to have evolved, the violent history is always there waiting to be resurrected by narrow minded zealots. True parasites, feeding off of freedom, to impose subjugation.



Wasn't that sweet?

FUCKING SCUMBAG ZEALOTS, DEFENDING ANY ACTION WITH THE SHIELD OF RELIGION. FUCK YOU ALL!

Maybe I'll do some Mormon stuff next time. Maybe talk about Porter Rockwell. Or the Mountain Meadow Massacre. Polygamy. We'll see. Until then....

HAPPY SUNDAY.

So let it be written, so let it be dumb.

Secular Fundamentalist,

theblaast,
citizen


PS. Check the movie "Army of God" by Marc Levin. Really good doc. about these violent Christoterrorists. Why does god need an army??
Posted by theblaast at 6:07 PM - 23 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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