Combovers and toupees. Doesn't wearing either, in fact, scream baldness more than baldness itself? No matter how much you pay for a toupee or "hair system" they all seem to look a bit off. Like if an alien culture created a facsimile of a human to send to earth, the hair would look like a toupee.(which is why Republics have so much Sylvio Dante hair, not human) Not to mention that people have seen you as you were going bald. Saw you losing your hair. Yet one day you come home with hair like a viking? No one except the most intimate in your life even acknowledge it too your face. They lie and tell you it looks amazing. You now wear a hairhat and you are counting on polite people to ignore it. That has got to feel good...and itchy.

On the subject of combovers, some men must have 18 inches of hair growing out of the strong side of their head. There is the straight across CO, the swirl it from the crown CO, the feather it forward then back CO, and the pay it forward CO. All look ridiculous, all are counting on polite people ignoring that fact. It looks great as they cement it to their head with Aqua-Net.

I can understand the motivation of these men, we are all vain. However sometimes the solution that they come up with is not the best for them, though they believe it is.
You expect good friends and family to tell you the truth. Whether it's about hairhelmets, talent, or an obvious booger in their nose. Someone has to say something. Of course if people told the truth to each other there would be no American Idol or the like. So people will still combover and practice hairbidashery, reality TV will be fed, and more and more people will walk around with boogers. All because it's so hard to be honest.

Cleaning a nostril while singing off key,

theblaast
citizen

I wonder if Reverend Ted Haggard is fixed yet. You may remember that Rev. Ted, as his lemmings called him, had a sexual affair with a man and a bunch of crystal meth. Of course, the rev. says he just bought the meth, he didn't do any. I see. He was forced to step down as head of the cult and entered the homosexual recovery program.(classes are 24 hours a day, seven days a week...in the Ministry of Love.) Little about the fabulous reverend has been in the news lately. One thing for sure, a man can't get caught sucking cock and snorting meth and still head the cult. He can do those things. He just can't get caught.

Unfortunately for the rev. he happened to hook up with someone who, when he found out who Ted was and what he stood for, went public. Cults are always better at dealing with internal problems when there is no outside attention.(for years the catholics did a great job protecting children by simply moving priests around, giving them new hunting grounds. What's a little child rape if the good name of the church is upheld?) However, once in the media light it's hard to spin it your way. Then again, believers can always turn the most preposterous scenario into truth. All it takes is ridding yourself of all critical thinking, common sense, and intellectual honesty.

Do those three things and you too can become religious. You can free yourself from all personal responsibility. Everything can be blamed on gods plan. Or the devil, or other religions, or democrats and liberals, gays and lesbians, choice, too much freedom, porn, television, music, pastels, anything really. Just as long as you know that it's out of your control and in the loving hands of god. That's what's important.

Oh yeah, keep that tithe coming.

secular fundamentalist,

theblaast
citizen

Little Boy Bilderbush
W is Illuminatitoobright
Pimpin and Mason with the dub U
Knights of the Templarself before you wreck yourself
Skull and Bush

My blog got eaten for some reason. Took me an hour, not gonna let it take two. This is what I'm goin with...so piss off.

Omerta,

theblaast
citizen

The function of a commercial is to embed the advertised product into your psyche. Therefore when you find yourself shopping you remember the product and buy it. Name recognition is what it's all about. Commercials are paramount in that quest. Companies pay tens of millions for them every year. Some products, in my opinion, are so deeply rooted in American society they would hardly have to advertise. At least not have to pay for TV ads. Coke, Bud, Lite, Pepsi, Doritos, for example. If you never heard those names on TV again, you would still buy all of them had you bought them before. I would make exceptions for new products,(a new flavor, look, etc.) but only for one week. Only one commercial a day, in prime time. That's it.

If I was running an ad company, I would follow the dumb or confusing commercial protocol. By that I mean, make an ad so stupid it actually irritates the consumer. Like Mentos or the old Channel ads.
Mentos was stupid and channel confusing. Both companies made millions.

Here's my idea.(Humorless people should stop reading here) Let's say the product is hand cream, it really doesn't matter. So anyway, selling hand cream is the goal. The viewer is seeing from the perspective of a man who is walking up to an elevator. Inside the elevator is a very attractive woman who smiles at him. Just then the doors start to close, she reaches out and holds the door for the man.
He says thank you and something flirty. She demurs with everything but her eyes. He pulls out a 44 magnum and blows the back of her head off. He stops the elevator, as he leaves he throws the particular hand cream at the limp, dead body. It lands, label forward and proud. Freeze frame and a voice over in a soothing cheery tone, "Jergens... or whatever it may be). Maybe get Scorsese to direct. Tell me that commercial won't stick. Or get people talking. Genius.

Available for freelance,

theblaast
citizen

The debates are useless, Republic or Democratic, it matters naught. We are watching corporate media play with dolls. No one asks real questions and no one gives real answers. If I was moderating, I would do things a little differently. First, I would insist that each candidate be given 10 minutes to answer one question, each debate. I would have them three times a week, for the last six to nine months of each cycle. Before I asked the question I would have each candidate pelted with a paintball on a piece of bare skin.(not in the face, well, not in the eyes) Immediately after the trained, impartial, paint gun warrior expertly welts up each candidate I would ask my question. As a caveat, I would also inform them that MY question must be answered. Not the one THEY want to answer. For everytime they start spouting talking points or the like, our expert shoots them again. Man, that would be tough, I mean Fucking hostile tough. But being President is harder, and they say they want the job.

One thing is for sure, It would have kept the Chimp out of office. He can't think or speak in any situation, certainly not under pressure. Think seven minutes in the classroom. How long is that in nuclear time? Probably too long. Anyway, the point is, he'd still be failing at all kinds of things while his mom and dad wipe his skinned knees. But whole entire countries, would be safe from his buffoonery. Sure, he would still be drinking turpentine from his still in the back woods of Kennebunkport, spinning tales from his days as a cheerleader. Or brooding over cosmic thoughts like, "what the fuck is wrong with the Rangers this year?", and showing people his ball sack at parties...you know that guy. The rich, ignorant, drunk. Well folks, that guy has a nuke. Many of them. Makes you feel warm inside doesn't it?

One thing is true, alot more people would be alive.

wondering what color the threat is today,

theblaast
citizen