
A sample of headlines by your earnestly attentive author.... Please, indulge.
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PRESIDENT BUSH MICROWAVES FOIL, RECEIVES MINOR BURNS...
From the AP
BRITTANY SPEARS CLAIMS "I ONLY DO DRUGS SO I CAN STAND TO BE AROUND MY KIDS!"
From US Magazine
JESUS ARRESTED IN CRACK DEN, QUIETLY RELEASED TO HIS FATHER AFTER THREE DAYS...
From TBN
VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY RETURNS FROM A LONG LUNCH, MAKES STAFFERS SMELL HIS FINGER....
From Reuters
LARRY CRAIG CLAIMS 18 INCH DILDO FOUND IN SENATE OFFICE IS FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES....
From Closeted and Self Loathing Magazine
WOMAN CLAIMS TO SEE THE VIRGIN MARY IN PAINTING OF VIRGIN MARY, SELLS IT ON E-BAY....
From Google News
LIBERALS DERIDE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION CROSS BURNING, GOP RESPONDS WITH GUNFIRE....MANY CONFIRMED DEAD...
From The Weekly Standard
SEAN HANNITY'S JAW GROWING AT AN ALARMING RATE....
From Reader's Digest
NANCY PELOSI AND HARRY REID CLAIM "SUCCESS" IN BUILDING AN "IMPRESSIVE LIST OF FAILURES", CITE COLLAPSE ON EVERYTHING THEY WERE ELECTED TO DO AS PROOF......
From The Neutered American
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT PUTS ITSELF ON TRIAL, LOSES....
From Jurytalk.com
BILL O'REILLY "PLEASANTLY SURPRISED" TO DISCOVER NOT ALL ITALIANS ARE IN THE MOB. CLAIMS TO HAVE "HAD A GREAT MEAL" AT OLIVE GARDEN....
From Bloviating Monthly
PRESIDENT BUSH TO INVADE SWITZERLAND, CLAIMS "THEY'RE PUSSIES!"....CHENEY BITCH SLAPS AMBASSADOR....
From Washington Times
FAILING HER WAY: THE CONDALEEZA RICE STORY....ONE WOMANS STRUGGLE TO DENY PEACE AND HER OWN SEXUALITY....
Excerpt in The Advocate
What a wonderful audience you have been! I am forever obliged.
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Ah, memories. Do you mind if I share some of mine? How gracious! Well then! Let me begin.....
......My mind conjures up the image of a tall muslim zealot who claimed he knew how to slay the giant, America.
I think I remember chief evil doer, O to the B to the L-A-D, saying he wanted the US army out of Saudi Arabia. I recall him saying something like not wanting to engage America in head on war, but to instead provoke an invasion of another muslim country and bleed the beast. Specifically, I thought I read that there were three places that this could be done most efficiently, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Somalia. I can almost swear he railed against the Western Nation friendly price of oil. I have flashes of him demanding 100 dollars per barrell. I recollect him calling for greater profit for his people if their holy bounty was to go to market. Supply and demand... and he says nothing good comes from the west. Money,money,money,money....money.
Bush doesn't think well, but he sure can follow directions.
Thank you for letting me share some memories with you. You are truly accommodating.
Hey, hey, what can I do...?
Hey, hey, what can I say...?
theblaast,
citizen